The Mysteries of Wargal Reproduction
by pixie blue
Summary: Random was so last year... but do you honestly think I care? Anyways, I've always wondered why you never hear of girl Wargals... This won't answer it, but at least you'll have heard of them.


A/N: Well, this has been sitting on my hard drive for... Four and a half months now? So it's probably been nibbled on a bit by rampant plot bunnies, but the wording's still legible... I think. :/ Anyway, hope you enjoy!

WARNING: Rated R for random! Hahahahahahahaha! Oh, and a bit OOC. But you almost always get that with parodies anyway.

.:':. .:':. .:':.

"Will, wake up! We have a new mission!"

He groaned. "It's Sunday. I want to sleep in."

"A crazed Wargal is attacking one of the lesser villages, and they need help."

Will yawned hugely, settling back in his bed, eyes closed. "But do they specifically need us?"

Halt growled and pulled the blankets from Will's bed. "Hey, I was using those!"

"Get up. We're going."

"Fine."

.:':. .:':. .:':.

"Well, this should be interesting," Halt commented as they watched the Wargal tip over a bunch of food stalls. Then he cocked his head; something wasn't quite right.

Even as it roared at the terrified, screaming villagers who ran in every direction and basically got in everyone else's way, the Rangers noticed something different about this Wargal compared to others they had faced. Its voice was higher pitched, longer hair(on its head, anyway...), and far more curvier than your average Wargal - and not just because of muscle.

Halt was still following the Wargal with his eyes. "It's... a girl," he said incredulously.

"A girl Wargal? There are girl Wargals?" Will asked, equally as incredulously.

Halt looked at him, exasperated. "Of course there are girl Wargals! You didn't think they reproduced by cloning themselves or something, did you?"

"No, I just... never thought of it, period. It's not exactly something you want to think about. GAH! Bad image!" Will pounded the sides of his head furiously with his fists. "ARGH! MAKE IT STOP!"

Halt watched calmly as his former apprentice rolled on the ground, clutching his head in agony. "See, this is why I love not having as vivid an imagination as you do," Halt told him.

Will stood and started giggling insanely.

"Perfect. His brain couldn't handle the imagery and it exploded. Now he's insane. That's just great."

Tears of mirth streamed down Will's cheeks and he dropped back to the ground, this time rolling around with laughter. Halt tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for Will to gather himself. "I'm sorry... it's just that..." he gasped out between sporadic giggles, "A girl Wargal... A Wargal girl... It's... It's a Wargirl!" Will lost it again and stumbled off, laughing uncontrollably.

Halt watched him blankly. He really didn't see how it was so funny.

Will grasped the railing of a stair for support as he bent double. He started climbing the steps, for no apparent reason other than plot advancement, and his saxe knife had inexplicably found its way to his hand. Still staggering slowly up the stairs(ooh look, alliteration) and laughing like the madman he probably was, Will finally reached the balcony at the top of the staircase. Eyes closed because he was laughing so hard, Will stupidly lurched forward and tumbled straight over the balcony railing.

He landed on top of the Wargal - who, being the despicable creature she was, had been in the process of trying to steal some sweets from a small child - and the saxe knife buried deep into the Wargal's(bountiful) chest, killing her as the dagger's tip penetrated her heart. Will shook his head slightly, not noticing the blood flowing around his hand and the horrified stare the child - still holding tightly onto his candy... Doesn't that sound wrong? - was giving him. "Ow, that hurt. Oh well, at least my fall was broken by this soft-ish Wargal... Wargirl." He started laughing again. Halt walked over to him, shaking his head.

"You, my dear apprentice, are a head case. At least you killed the Wargal. Come on, let's leave the dead monster and the tormented child and go home."

And that was how Will and Halt saved the day, albeit in a completely unintentional way. (ooh, lookie, I rhymed! I should so become a poet.)

.:':. .:':. .:':.

A/N: Yaaaaay! Who doesn't like crazy random stuff written at three in the morning? WHEEEEE! I love caffeine. *hugs box of Pepsi cans*


End file.
